Sitting on the front row, embracing my hysterical sister whom I had just met for the first time 3 hrs earlier, I kept thinking to myself, she seems like she was a lovely person. On The 27th of July I experienced one those challenges you never plan nor prepare for but life just throws at you in your quest to fulfilling your dreams an example of those I had mentioned in the post appreciating the process. I am usually somewhat in control of my thoughts but that day I swear all sorts of thoughts were brewing in my mind. So there I was trying to analyse and attach everyone’s attributions about the woman who carried me for nine months and who she was to them to make up or fill up the empty slots of unanswered questions I had been carrying and for the last part of my childhood years managed to put in that box that sits at the corner of a dark room that is hardly opened. There was a common thread that ran throughout all those speeches that in a sense made up the theme for that day. “She was always smiling”. “Never raised her voice”, “She was a pleasure to be around”, “She was lovely to work with”. All these synopsis from people I did not know and some which I did, held some value on the conclusion I would carry with me for the rest of my life with regards to what type of person my mother was. I mean, in this context they were credible, they had to be. They were closer to her than I was or I will ever be.
So the theme I picked up on at my mother’s memorial service was that she was a my fascinating person mother whom I never met. The hardest part of that analogy was I would never get a chance to meet this my fascinating person mother and that realization brought about all sorts of emotions >> anger, guilt, bitterness and suddenly that overwhelming peace that surpasses all understanding. Yes, peace because the scripture Romans 8:28 suddenly resonated in my spirit and I was reminded that all things work together for good. It quickly changed my perception towards the whole situation because I then viewed the cup as half full and started appreciating the good. That little positivity that came out from this tragic loss which was family and siblings reunited. Reuniting with my siblings or should I say uniting as it was the first time I met them. Meeting them gave me a whole new reason to life and added to the reasons I need to keep chasing those dreams. She definitely was a fascinating person and now I get the chance to see and experience the little bits of who she was through my siblings.
stargate2anafropolitansdream 